My Walt Disney World Escapade

In one giant case, I was a deprived child. I, my dear readers, have never been to Disney World. (That’s what I should have told the police). –Perhaps that is the reason that I did what I did. Woe unto you parents who never take your children to Disney World for they will turn out to be a sort of Peter Pan locked somewhere between childhood and adult twilight. Neither really one or the other. Attempting to fly when it is beyond one’s good sense. Yes, that was the reason of my actions –That was the cause of the whole ordeal. This, I will say to my mother if she ever finds out.

My plan and my quest was to sneak into Walt Disney World. Again, I refer to this bad habit , this juvenile hobby, this cumbersome pastime of mine and paraphrase myself from a previous note. When approaching a magical kingdom who wants to pay to get in? It loses its magic. No, I wanted to intrude into that magical kingdom. It was again, not a matter of money. (Though $70 is a lot of money) but it was more for the challenge and the thrill. –A rollercoaster by itself is not enough; I felt I had to sneak past security to get to that rollercoaster…now that’s a real thrill. Some of you may beg the moral question, but wasn’t it Disney who taught us to play out our richest fantasies and our sense of wonder no matter what the strict authorities said? I was just another Ariel striking out upon land where I was forbidden to go. Tough luck, if the world of Disney should be directly affected by its own philosophy. That philosophy being the triumph of the imagination over reality. What do you expect?

So Wednesday, after my work responsibilities were over, I drove into this huge world that we know as Disney. I had never been there, so I couldn’t decide where to begin my caper. I shot for the Magical Kingdom and before long I found myself on small roads where paying for parking is not necessary. That is when I found the Disney University where mascots go for their stringent training. No decal was needed. I hopped out of my car and began my clandestine procedures. I could see the famous castle tower looming over the trees as a sort of goal for my wandering and stealthy footsteps. It was a beacon of delight, of that realm where Cinderella’s glass slipper always fit; where Sleeping Beauty awoke from her slumber into her dreams. Eventually, I found a fence that wrapped around these woods. On the other side of these woods was that very special place that gleams in the hearts of children and adults. But the fence had slanted barbwire at the top. Not an easy thing to climb. So from an unobserved distance I followed the fence and the woods further around. There was a road next to the fence where many tourists where driving their minivans by. I couldn’t be overly suspicious. With keen eyes I spotted the chink in the fences armor. -A sort of mouse hole into the world’s largest mouse home. These fences always have doors on them. These doors have bars or as I like to call them firm footholds. This particular door that I spotted was slanted leaving a skinny and daring intruder ample enough room to slip through if he climbed 3 feet. As the road in front of this fence became empty, I darted my head to both sides of the road and seeing that the host was clear, ran full speed across the road and in seconds had my foot on the chain lock of the door and had squeezed myself through the top part of this doorway. I was in. I then bounded towards the forest. There was this, what I thought to be a pond, near the forest. As I approached the body of water, I heard something large splash into the water. Certainly flamingos or herons don’t make that kind of splash. I doubt a fish was that big. Then it dawned on me that I was in the vicinity of the Florida Alligator. “Ah gators…Okay, so this is turning out to be one big mistake.” The thought flashed through my head. I kept running this time, further from the water further into the swamp-like forest with each bound, glancing carefully at the ground in front of me to see if there was a large leathery reptile lying there. Then where I was sure the edge of the woods drifted into the park of all parks…I noticed how deceived I was. That pond was no pond. It was a moat. -A gator-infested moat that separated me from my magical kingdom. And how eerie the water looked all murky with who knows how many of those creatures sleeping at the bottom. I had to find my way around this moat. I could hear a train and laughter on the other side. I can never give up after getting so close. So I followed the moat around through the swampy woods. Through the thickest brambles, I trudged with every step a gamble that there might be a snake or gator that I had mistaken for a root or a log. These were not Bambi’ woods. They were more like Mowgli’s jungle. Vines and tropical plants mingled with the cypresses. Spider web after spider web I collected in my hair and my shirt. It was much like one of my favorite Disney songs.

Robin Hood and Little John
Runnin' through the forest
Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees
An' tryin' to get away
Contemplatin' nothin'
But escape an' fin'lly makin' it
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day

If only I could find a fallen tree that would form a sort of bridge across the moat. But none could be found. I still marched on further alongside the moat, sometimes wandering further into the woods seeing how the moat’s edge could be overgrown with too many trees and vines that made it impassable. I tried to walk as much as I could on top of logs, not wanting to disturb any creatures’ habitat. -More for my sake than theirs. I was not in the mood to be punching gators with one hand while choking a water moccasin with the other. But I continued following the moat even if Kaa the Snake or the Croc that ate the clock was waiting around the corner. Maybe up around this river bend, I will spot an Indian girl in a canoe will give me a ride to the other side. But no Pocahontas for this John Smith. Only more trees and vines.

Finally, I came to the end of the moat. There was a road that gave workers access into the park. A slab of cement spilled into the moat at a 45 degree angle. This would be perfect for crossing over. Unobserved from the workers on the road above and unobserved from the gators in the moat below. But as I got closer to the road, I noticed that even that was fenced over with barbwire at the top. They had made sure of everything. I then paused to collect my thoughts and rest. I took one look at the top of the fence and saw, perhaps another way to scale this barrier. As I approached this fence. I immediately spotted two Mexican women employees on the other side taking their smoking break. –And they spotted me without a doubt. I didn’t know what to do. I was too tired to run…and I didn’t feel like jogging through the forest again. So I squatted down next to the fence when behind me a white car pulled up. A man with those type of shiny aviators that sheriffs wear was sitting there glaring at me. So I glared back. It was intense. His glance never left me. At that instant I knew that he was security and that I was caught. What to do? Should I run or should I surrender? Well, I guess I’ll leave that for my next note. But either way it was Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally, Golly what a day.
To Be Continued….