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Saturday, July 08, 2006

A Roadside Education

Currently, I am working a fireworks booth in the frothing humidity of Tennessee. The 4th of July has approached and Nathan and I intend on dealing as many small-scale explosives as possible. We live on the side of the road in a tent; For two weeks our existence is that of the gypsy merchant; fighting off highway marauders, drunken hillbillies, and tempestuous heat. Below are points of wisdom and universal education derived from such a unique experience.

1) There are 8,236,906 different combinations and styles of tatooes that a human being can possibly have on his or her arm. 21,473 of these can very well include various depictions of the Confederate Flag.

2) It is quite possible for a man to have a wife, a daughter, a cousin, a friend...and all of them mathematically result in the same person.

3) The World Cup is something that one drinks beer from while watching Nascar.

4) A mullet alone equals social rectitude. A mullet with a wrestler's mustache equals an aura of lionlike kingship.

5) There are 3 items that make the 4th of July what it is in Tennessee.
Rednecks, booze, and explosives.

6)Women suddenly become prettier when a man isliving in a tent for a good while, whether they have teeth or not.


Blogger Jess said...

This is what I am talking about my dear Brian.
This post reminds me of a little something I like to call "The Elks club" (Not really an original). Never have I laid eyes on something so beautifully stereotypical in all my years. That amazing night of dancing is one of my favorite memories...and I think it might be one of Jeremy's also.

10:19 PM  
Blogger Brian Harrison said...

You know Jeremy still warns me to keep silent before his family on the whole ordeal. I think he wants to protect his favorite memory of all time.

3:29 PM  

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