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Saturday, June 02, 2007

My Walt Disney World Escapade.....Part 2

A Continuation from the previous note…

So our eyes locked and he knew…he had to know that I was indeed sneaking into Walt Disney World. There is that split second of a decision that is to be made where the seconds stretch themselves into an eternity and a thousand possibilities jam and collide into each other, of which a few become so vivid that inside your head you sit their entranced as to the possible venue that you could take. My first, and finest impulse was to run. To flee back into the woods. Just to get…one step ahead of the lawmen, That’s all and that’s no joke, These guys don’t appreciate I’m broke, One trick ahead of disaster,
They’re quick, but I’m much faster. Here goes better throw my hand in.
Wish me happy landin’. All I gotta do is jump.
And of course they would shout at me, “Riffraff! Street Rat! Scoundrel!” But you know I just don’t buy that.

But running away would place me in a mean measure. And escape would be very, very slim. My other option would be to go the route to evoke their pity. Maybe clutch the fence and stare dreamily at the other side and with my wistful eyes communicate my desire to be up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun, wanderin’ free, wish I could be, part of that world. However, this route was highly unlikely with tough security officials even if they do work at Disney.
“You sir, what are you doing in there?” the man said.
“I’m exploring” I responded in an upbeat manner.
“H-how did you get in there?”
“Why, I went through the gate that’s kinda, sorta open way over there.”
“Do you have a ticket!?”
“Nope.” And before I could say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious half the Disney security militia was on the seen. It became the Fox surrounded by a bunch of Hounds. I was tired. I was thirsty. And I’m not as young as I used to be. The Brian Harrison of a few years past would have risked it and jumped back into the forest and narrowly escaped or been doggedly defeated. I was a radical. No middle road. But that sprightly time has elapsed and what Tarzan-like juvenilia I have lost, now is replaced by that adult super ability, my own honed and mature powers of negotiation, which was at its highest pitch. No need to run. I’ll talk my way out of this one. Just a little misunderstanding. That’s all.

So I threw on my wit and charm. It is the only thing one can do in such chim-chiminey circumstances. It was my genie in a bottle, my star that I cast my wish, that made no difference of where or what dire situation I was in. The security tried unlocking one of the gate doors, but they didn’t have a key. So I volunteered to show them the way I got in. Every help that I gave them, they maybe could perhaps return the favor. So with this large barbwire fence between them and me. I began to follow the fence around which was on the outskirts of this forest. They sent a tall black old man that reminded me of Morgan Freeman. -He was kindly like that. And so I began to talk to him as best that I could. Become personable with him even with the fence between the two of us. He on the outside and I locked on the inside. We eventually came to the door that I had sort of clambered through The other security had followed by vehicle.
“So you climbed over the fence?”
“Well, more or less, went through the opening.”
“You climbed the fence.”
“No, its kind of an opening that I slipped through ”
Every definition here was important. If I climbed over the fence then it was a direct blame placed upon my willful intentions. However, if I passed through their opening, part of the blame goes onto why they do not keep their own gates completely shut. I should’ve been a lawyer. And every word that escaped my lips, I accompanied it with a playful grin. And I was pretty sure that they were letting their guard down towards me.

Next, the head honcho arrived. She was a bulky blonde lady who had that aura of bossiness about her in which you find most women who carry such security jobs. This was going to be tough. I called to her from the distance and began my schmoozing. I had to become a sort of Jack Sparrow that had walked out of that ride in that park and was making his swaggering attempt at talking himself at of yet another bleak adventure.

“I can see that I’m at odds as to the situation, but regardless of why I’m back here, I’ve got a pretty good idea for a new ride…you could call it ‘Sneaking Into Walt Disney World’ where all the tourists hop over fences and run through a forest being chased by alligators.”

“Listen if you just let me out, I’ll pay the 70 dollars and we can forget about the whole thing. –And then you guys can let me in this wonderful park. All I really care about is getting a snowcone right now and maybe riding a ride or two.”

The Lady then said that she had to wait on the County to get there. I gulped. That was not good. “The County?!...Now, there’s no reason to go and bother them. This is just a little mishap that we both can work out. I’m sure they’re busy with very important things. You know like Florida forest fires and crack dealings.”

“Well”, the lady responded, “ I need to run a background check on you. Make sure you’re not a terrorist or anything.” And with this she gave me a flirtatious smile.

And I replied with sarcasm, “Yes, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed terrorist.”

“Ha!” she laughed, “a blue-eyed terrorist.” And she delivered that same grin to me. Yes, make no big deal out of it and consider myself cocky, but if we were in different circumstances I would be well on my way to having her number in minutes. It was working.

“Okay, so what if I offer you the $70 for the ticket….plus I buy two Mickey Mouse T-shirts…one for myself and one for my sister. And I’ll go home….and you won’t have to worry about pressing charges…that sort of thing.”

But she was resolute on waiting for the County which was taking its sweet time. At this time, I noticed that I could be arrested for one of the dumbest things a person could be arrested for. Where was my Jiminy Cricket warning me about this before? So while I was on this side of the fence with the gators and they were on the other…I prayed. “God…I know that this is all stupidity on my part. But please don’t let me get arrested.” And then I felt reassured that I wouldn’t be spending time in a jail cell. Eventually, the deputies cars rolled up and three real officers jumped out. They took my license and did a background check while I still remained locked in the swamp. They, of course, found nothing…maybe a bad speeding record. And then they unlocked the gate..not to let me out…but to let themselves in. They spread eagled me on the fence and did their police frisk. Quite embarrassing with the occasional family van that passed by the adjacent road. Next, they explained to me that it was up to the head security…that lady…whether or not I was charged with anything. (in my opinion, a good sign). They took me outside the gate where everyone else stood and then they made me sit down.

A speech followed by one of the Orange County officers. “The Disney World people are some of the nicest people you can find. The sweetest, kindest people….but if you cross Disney and you make them upset then they will retaliate and they will not take kindly to you. And Disney”, he said with utmost solemnity, “you have made upset right now. You match descriptions of some recent occurrences around here.”

This shocked me. There was this one Disney employee among the others that was large and portly. He was the only one that I didn’t seem to rub a good vibe onto. He was the only one who truly seemed upset. I looked over at him, knowing that he had to be the vindictive authority here, “Is this true?” I sheepishly asked this man, betraying a sense of hurt in my voice. The fat man responded huffly. “Yes” and then looked away.

But this was not really true. Authority figures, whether policemen or security have a way of amplifying disappointment and suspicion. They exaggerate one’s crossness and seriousness to cause fear. All vital steps to make you feel a threat so that you will not do it again. I agree with their measures though it is a little misleading. All you can do is just be as honest and as respectful as you can and you will pass through.

Then the deputy announced my sentence. “You are hereby given a warning by Orange County for trespassing and you are banned from all Disney property, studios, or stores in any state or country. If there is a failure to comply, if you walk onto any Disney property you can be immediately arrested for breaking this ban.”

It was in one sense a relief. In another a condemned pronouncement. No Disney. I spoke up, “What if 10 years from now I have a family and we come to Disney, I can still be arrested right on the spot?”

“Yes, but you can call in the future and get Disney to lift the ban. It’s all up to Disney.”

Next, they took my picture and my fingerprints and was going to escort me to my car. I had to ride in the back of the deputy’s vehicle.

“This is the part where I have to watch my head, right?” I said before I climbed in.

“Yeah, you must have been through this many times before.”
“No, I just watch Cops” I said with a grin. He took me to my car and then suspicions were aroused again as to how I knew to park there….as though I had done this many times before. I told them that I just drove around until I found it. They said alright and they let me go. And I drove off that property thanking God and perhaps still thinking to myself Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally, Golly what a day.


Blogger hsp said...

Oh brian! I am sure that anyone who reads this must, as I do, grin at your boldness. You are the only person who I know that takes such risks. I continue to encourage you to write that book. Yeah I know, you aren't that disciplined, but "You can do ALL things through Jesus who gives you strength." Am I completely healed? I believe so. I feel better than I have in years. Thank you for your kind words. I expect Russia to be as it has always been, breathtaking. Who knows, maybe one day, we'll pass each other along the road of our adventures. Until...

7:53 PM  
Blogger Brian Harrison said...

Also...The other day, I finally picked up that book of Jack Deere's that you gave me and began to read it. It has been sitting in my closet this whole time. It's an interesting read. Have fun in Russia.

7:04 AM  
Blogger hsp said...

wow, i didn't know if you would read it at all, so I am glad that you are finding it "intresting." as I have said before, you have to know how God speaks to you, personally, because people, me included, might try to tell you things, because we feel God has spoken to us. You need to know His voice so you can know, deeply, if you bare witness in your spirit to what others are saying. It's really a safegaurd. So, I hope that you are continuing to learn how He communicates with you, personally and I truly hope you are enjoying your relationship with Him.

8:36 PM  
Blogger hsp said...

Hey by the way, just read your "in honor of Dec. 26th" post. I totally agree that your experience was indeed crummy. Not to try to "top" that one, but maybe just try to share one of my worst and best... dec 26, 2006. It is the day that I found out that I had a bloodclot in each lung, with pneumonia in my left lung. The reason I had bloodclots would not be found out until a few days later, but basically this was the beginning of the end as to why I had been sick for several months. That was very positive, the negitive was that I had cancer. However, the greatest positive is that now I am healed and going back to Russia! Yippy! Take care!

8:53 PM  

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